For a long time I didn’t want to tell anyone. For one thing, I could barely get the words out. Every time I said the word cancer, the “realer” everything got. And I didn’t want it to be real. But another reason I didn’t tell anyone is that it is just awkward to talk about.
Hi! How are you?
Well, um, my mom has cancer.
Oh.
It’s a conversation killer. And a total non-sequitur. My friends are all in their late twenties or early thirties. Health isn’t on their radar. Instead, they talk about their work, friends, children, homes, parties, vacations. Everyone is really happy. My boyfriend told me I should prepare a series of canned answers to combat the inevitable ‘how are you’ or ‘how is your mom’ type questions. I’ve been asked those questions a lot lately and each time – I feel like I answer wrong. Too much detail, too little detail. Once my boss asked me how I was, and I totally froze. As he walked away he said, “I just wanted to make sure you are okay”. Everyone means well – but the problem is there’s no ‘good’ response. Every day we take perfectly cropped, colour-corrected pictures. I’m guilty of this too. We show off the awesome parts of our lives, and then delete the not so perfect parts.
When I tell people my mom has cancer, I suddenly feel very exposed. It’s too … raw. And messy. And that makes people, myself included, uncomfortable.
the pilgrim's daughter 
I am still glad you are telling people, whether it’s awkward or not – (and believe I know it is always awkward and messy). Only when you do can you receive the support you need from the ones who are able to give it to you. I know when you share the news (yet again) it feels like the bomb never stops exploding, but the fact is it IS exploding in your life. Acknowledging that and sharing that with your friends is ultimately a good thing. xxxxxxxxxxx
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